Anxiety to Freedom!

I don't teach people to take action and get over fear because I am an expert in Confidence, I do it because I am an expert in anxiety! I know the pain it can cause and the crippling effect it can have on your life and relationships.

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In April 2017, my life took a dramatic turn. I was feeling particularly down, to the point where I was wandering around the streets at midnight, trying to decide whether to stick around. On paper, I had it all: two beautiful daughters; a loving partner; a great home; my own business, which I loved; and a supportive family. What more could I possibly want? That’s what most people kept saying to me:

 

“What more do you want? You are never happy. You’ve got everything you asked for. When will you ever be satisfied?”

 

I did have everything I asked for because I made a point of getting it. I strongly believed in the law of attraction. I believed, and still do believe, that if you ask for something, you can get it.

 

I had lived like that for 5 years, and I had received my beautiful home, my loving partner, my amazing children, and my successful business. What I hadn’t achieved was my good mental health. I hadn’t achieved a feeling of comfort in my own skin. I had an underlying sense of unhappiness, and my whole life was filled with anxiety. Even though I had it all, in my eyes, I had nothing, because I was so desperately unhappy with myself. Happiness begins from within. If you are not happy with yourself, then you can’t fix everything around you to make yourself happy. It just doesn’t work like that. One night was particularly bad, and I was walking around the streets where I live, close to midnight, just trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was tempted to not even bother carrying on with it. Things had really hit rock bottom.

 

It would have been hard for anybody to realise from the outside because from their eyes, I had probably hit rock bottom many years before. My house had been close to being repossessed, I struggled to put food on the table, I was borrowing money off my mum just to feed the kids and clothe them, and I was paying solicitors fees, using up all my savings. That was rock bottom, from the outside world. For me, this was not rock bottom, because I still had hope that when things got better, I would be happy. But now… if I had it all and I still wasn’t happy, where the hell do I go from there? A couple of days later, my chiropractor, Dr Gareth, suggested I look up a man called Tony Robbins, and he sent me a link, for which I will be forever grateful. I clicked on the link, and it had an article about the six human needs— I didn’t understand a word of it. But when you’re on the internet, one link leads to another, which leads to something else, and I finally came to a post on an article about UPW (Unleash the Power Within), a 4-day seminar in London.

 

At the time, I was still suffering from social phobia, anxiety, and depression, and I very rarely went out anywhere without Steve, my children, or my mum, because I just didn’t feel okay by myself. The thought of going was terrifying, and although I had money now, I didn’t have a spare £800 for the ticket plus the cost of the hotel. There were lots of other reasons I shouldn’t have gone. My eldest daughter had two important school things going on, and I had the guilt of leaving the little one on the Easter holidays, so I really should have stayed at home. I mean, who was going to look after everyone, and run the house, walk the dogs, get the shopping, etc. Mums are always in demand one way or another, yet a week earlier, I was ready to kill myself, as I felt no one needed me. This alone proves that our minds talk bollox, and sometimes we need to just realise that.

 

Something inside me told me this was right, and I just felt such a huge pull to go to this event that I borrowed the money from the good old bank of mum, and I signed up for my hotel and ticket! Literally, 4 weeks later, my partner was driving me to the London Excel for the 4 - day event. I was terrified as usual. Usually, my hands would shake, but this time my whole body was shaking, and I felt sick. Even though I had signed up, and I was there ready to participate, I did not have any faith that these 4 days would solve my problems. How could they, when so many had tried before? I remember getting out of the car, giving Steve a kiss, and saying, “I don’t know if I’m coming back.” He laughed and gave me a kiss back, and said, “I’ll pick you up on Sunday.” Even he did not know how bad I was feeling inside. You hear of women just running away, and you always wonder what could possibly be going through their minds for them to leave their families. Well, I’ll tell you what was going through my mind: I didn’t feel needed; I didn’t feel particularly wanted; I didn’t feel important, and I honestly didn’t think that I would be that missed if I did go. The biggest reason that I would have walked away and never gone back was a belief that if I just ran away, far enough away, then I would eventually lose the problems. I hear this a lot in my coaching sessions. My clients dream of moving away—some to new homes; some to new areas of the country—and each situation is the same. They believe that if they have a different setting, their life will be different. If they can just change the environment they are in, then everything will be okay. The trouble with that is that the problems are in your head, and it doesn’t matter how far you run, or where you run to, those problems will stay with you.

 

I am so grateful that I was drawn to that event in April 2017, because it was truly 100% life-changing. I walked in to register in the vast registration hall, and there were thousands of people queuing for this event. As I held my shaky hand out to have my wristband attached to me, the lady asked me if I was okay. I told her that I felt quite sick with nerves. She smiled and said, “I’m sure you’ll be fine, but there’s a medical room down the hall if you need it.” I carried on to where I was supposed to be sitting and looked around. I could not believe it. I was sitting in a room with 10000 other people. Ten thousand! For me, a crowd was 3 or 4 people, so to be sitting around all these people, without any of my support systems (my favourite people) around me, I really was terrified.

 

I would need a much bigger book to explain what Tony Robbins did for me over the 4 days, but let me just say that when I walked into that event, I was at rock bottom; and when I came out, I was flying so high that 2 years later, I still haven’t come back down. One of the first tasks he got us to do was to turn to our neighbour, look them in the eye, and say, “I own you.” I had always struggled to look people in the eye, but I didn’t even feel worthy of owning the chair that I was sitting on, let alone the person that was standing next to me. I couldn’t say it. Four days later, 1 firewalk, and a million high fives, and I owned every f***** in that room, and I wasn’t afraid to tell them! Tony Robbins had achieved what no therapist over the last 20 years had even touched on. He enabled me to let go of the burdens that I was carrying and to dig deep and find the inner confidence and self-belief that I had been missing for so long. I remember, every evening after the event, or during the break, I would quickly rush out to phone my mum, and I would scream to her, “I can’t believe it; I feel amazing! I just can’t even imagine what we will be doing tomorrow that would make me feel better than today. I’m so happy!” Then, the next day, he would do something even more incredible, and I would be on the phone even more hysterical to Mum, sometimes with tears rolling down my face, just at the amazement of how different I felt. So, if you are thinking about getting help, or you feel a pull to something that could benefit your life, just go and do it. It doesn’t matter about the material things you have around you—if you don’t have your inner happiness, you really don’t have anything.

 

I had been a beautician for 10 years and absolutely loved my job. I love to help people, but after attending the UPW, I felt I had found my true meaning. You hear people say they have a calling, but I don’t think you truly understand until you have one yourself. I have seen so many therapists and counsellors, but having learnt the strategies that Tony teaches, I was 100% sure that this was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I wanted to teach other people how they too could break free of such misery and pain, and live a life of freedom as I had just learnt to do.

If you would like to experience walking on fire and Tony's awesome seminar, drop me a message.

 

I would love to know more about Tony Robbins events!

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